Of all the pick up artist techniques and advice out there the undisputed king as far as I am concerned is Brent Smith. He is, in fact, the only one we recommend at the Balls Project or get (steal) ideas from. Several members of the Balls Project belong to Brent’s forum as well.
Why do I think he is the best? Because he is NOT about technique. He is about the inner game. One idea he talks about is one I want to pick up on here and elaborate on. “INDIFFERENCE”
Usually the word is used in negative terms, like indifference to poverty or the suffering of others. But there is a very positive side to it that is actually key to success in life. Not just picking up women or even just speaking to women, I mean every area of life Any place where you need access to your inner power. Which is pretty much every where.
Indifference does mean and absence of concern. But here is the thing we need to be unconcerned about. Ready? (on the board)
Results – Outcomes – What you get
Indifference when you are in your power is a totally peaceful dis-attachment to results.
Break It Down
OK let’s look at what is actually happening, inside of you when you are going for the results and why you do it.
You really want something; that new car, more money, a better job, that totally hot trophy babe, or even someone you are hopelessly in love with.
Since you don’t have it now you feel dissatisfied. So, naturally, you want to get rid of the dissatisfaction which may even be misery. So you get into action. You try to get it. Now if you do manage to get it this is what happens. You feel happy. This is our common experience right?
I want it
I get it
I am happy and feel good about myself
Of course if I don’t get it I feel not so good about myself. Jeez we write songs about this shit. You are the only one for me. I will die without your love. How will I live without you. Uhg.
But even if you do get the thing, the satisfaction doesn’t last very long. There is a never ending stream of wants and desires. Never ending. And the next one arises almost immediately after the previous one is satisfied. Or worse, you have multiple desires going on simultaneously so you never actually feel the satisfaction at all. The next one simply takes center stage.
So where does that leave you? I’ll tell you where! You spend your whole life pursuing things to be happy and never actually attain it.
OK so pay attention this. This is the most important thing in this video.
AS LONG AS YOU BELIEVE THAT YOUR HAPPINESS LIES IN THE OBJECT YOU ARE PURSUING IT WILL CONSUME YOU ENTIRE LIFE AND YOU WILL NEVER BE HAPPY
The Sun Does NOT Go Around The Earth
OK, so what if that version of the story is off? I mean, way off. I mean, as far off as our perception of the sun going around the earth? And remember, at that time, pretty much everybody believed that it did.
And IT WASN’T TRUE. It never was true. But we lived our lives as IF IT WAS!
So what would your life look like if you DIDN’T do that. What if you were convinced of the exact opposite, namely that the object does NOT bring happiness. Would you still feel discontent?
No you would feel “INDIFFERENT”. Fine if you have if. Fine if you don’t. The internal pressure to acquire the object would simply not exist. The desire would but not the compulsion to act!
Guess what? That is, in fact, what is happening. Newsflash, the earth IS going around the sun. the sun hasn’t moved in 10 billion years.
You are not orbiting your happiness. Your happiness is orbiting you. You haven’t moved in 10 billion years (give or take an aeon).
Now get this and get it good. Write it on the back of your forehead. The objects you persue DO NOT BRING YOU HAPPINESS. They never did and they never will. Pursuing the object only brings you suffering.
Now if you get that all the suffering subsides as does the compulsion. I mean who in their right mind actively pursues suffering.
What Is Really Happening
Now let me show you what really going on.
Before a desire arises there is peace and contentment. You don’t remember that because you have been so filled with desires for so long that you don’t even remember how you felt without those. Like when you were a kid and all your needs were pretty much met.
You experience that momentarily when a desire is attained. For just a moment the desire is silenced. Then you feel what was, in fact, there all along. YOU FEEL HAPPINESS.
Get this. You are not feeling happiness because the object gave it to you. You are feeling it because the noise got quiet and you felt what was already there.
Guys you have been stuck in the ultimate dog chasing its tail story. Or perhaps for men more accurately, man chasing tail story.
Happiness is your nature. It is there all the time. Happiness without a cause. You have just been taught to assume it is not there and to go look for it. You have been taught that the sun is orbiting the earth. It’s a bit like standing in front of your house asking someone for directions to get home.
Time for a 180
I know that this is a total 180 from what you have been taught and learned. And, jeez our culture is completely driven by creating the appetite for things and selling us shit we don’t need to fill a need that was totally manufactured in the first place. And, we become mindless slaves. Or as Brent would say, trapped in the matrix.
We get trapped in the matrix because we keep chasing the imaginary payoff that the matrix promises. There is no payoff guys. The whole thing is a big mistake. Or to quote the hero fo the matrix, Neo “There is no spoon”
The key to becoming liberated from this I can outline in 3 self-evident facts to be acknowledged and in 5 agreements you make with yourself
Fact – Desires arise all the time, they are a natural part of life and they are never going to go away but…
Fact – Satisfying desire is NOT the key to happiness or freedom, in fact, it obscures it
Fact – My pursuit of happiness outside of myself is the cause of all of my suffering and failure
1. I will train myself out of this enslaving attachment to results
2. I will defend my capacity to choose freedom at all costs
3. I will seek, find and hold the personal power I have been ignorantly giving away
4. I will not keep this to myself but I will help other men get it as well
5. I will tell my story honestly and without shame
Get this and, YOU ARE FREE. It does not matter if your circumstances are still difficult or you did not get the thing you wanted. You are free INSIDE! You have chosen the wise path.
And now you can no longer be manipulated. You can longer be influenced against your better judgment. You can longer be seduced (unless you want to be and you like the payoff). You can longer be taken advantage of. Why? Because nobody has anything you absolutely must have and you have become stronger than your needs. You take it or leave it. You have become the master.